What's the deal with... crushes?

There are three types of crushes. The first is an unrequited crush which is 100% undiluted, the second is a requited crush which should be an equal 50/50 balance, and the third is a fruit crush which is best served four parts water one part crush.

Having a crush on someone is like wanting to see a film: you've seen the trailer and heard great reviews, but are now ready to go ahead and see it. In a way, crushes themselves are very much like movie trailers; the crush process edits out over 99% of the film, leaving only the ‘best bits’, which can lead to disappointment when you finally view it in its entirety.

The other problem is that most people never get or want to see to the end of the film – it’s usually badly scripted, rife with awkward sex scenes, and filled with bad acting (though the last two often coincide). Bear in mind if you finally get to see the film you’ve been dying to see for weeks, it's unflattering to stare at other advertisements for films. One film at a time.

The next stage is buying a ticket and this can be tricky as they are generally not for sale. If this sounds confusing, don’t worry, it is.  Any tickets that are for sale could potentially land you in legal difficulties as well as societal ridicule. The best place to get your hands on a ticket is to go directly to the box office and ask. With this there’s always the chance that there’s no room for you. Though, you should never take this personally. More than likely this is for the best. Ideally, nobody wants to share a film with fifty odd strangers. Unless of course you’re into that sort of thing.

The bottom line is crushes are healthy and everyone has them. It’s the potential rejection that can lead to negative feelings. In the classic sense, the dictionary defines ‘crush’ as force inwards by compressing forcefully. When your crush rejects you the above definition seems to make a lot of sense. If you have to reject a crush, remember to handle it sensitively and with tact. After all, there’s nothing more crushing than being crushed by your crush.