Why?

This is something that happened to me day before yesterday (Tuesday 19^th April 2011). Thought it was an interesting story, so thought I’d share it.

The flesh from my knee was hanging off. One side dry and scabby, the other wet and bloody. I unhinged the bloody mess off in one swift motion, inhaling through clenched teeth in an attempt to relieve the surging pain. It stang so much my eyes were watering, and new skin peeled the outline of the wound, leaving the flesh red and raw. The pan was hot now, and the knob of butter sizzled furiously as it melted and sent thick smoke up in the air. I tossed the small burger-shaped piece of meat in the frying pan. Instantly it began to make noise. It didn't look like the flesh of a knee; it looked harmless – though this made it more sinister. The smell was something foul too; an indication that it probably best not ever be cooked; a putrid and vile stench. The juices blended with the fat and bubbled in the hot pan, making the meat hiss loudly. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe I was about to indulge in eating human flesh, a part of my own body. Just the thought made me sick, and the sight of the fleshy piece in front of me didn't help either, nor the smell of burning human flesh. However, no one was making me do this. I was doing this because I wanted to.

It wasn't too thick, so it cooked pretty quickly. Scooping it out from the pan, I dumped it onto a plate and stared at it from above. It didn’t look too bad now, but I still knew what it was. With out even mentioning a knife and fork in my thoughts, I picked up the fatty, flabby piece of meat and edged it closer to my mouth. The burger dripped with fat, and I closed my eyes before taking a bite into the hellish food. The texture was course, and my teeth struggled to tear through it. It took two or three seconds for the flavour to fully sink in. It definitely tasted familiar, but before I had time to put my finger on it, I opened the cupboard below the sink to find the bin, and spat out the mouthfuls repeatedly, expelling every tiniest morsel with fresh spells of spittle. The kitchen was heavily dressed with the stench, that dreadful stench, and turned breathing into gagging. I knew it would be weeks before I’d be fully rid of that toxic smell. I just stood there, thinking what I'd just done.